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Everything you wanted to know about Nebraska, and probably many things you didn’t.
Just look at all of those questions on the mailbag call for questions! I guess you all really love Nebraska, just like us. We are touched!
It’s the only explanation I am entertaining at this time. Anyway, all the answers to your burning questions.
From about 2021 until Nebraska destroyed Wisconsin in OT basketball this spring, I had a knockoff robovacuum named Scott Frost. (It is now named Greg Gard becuase of the aforementioned basketball game). It didn’t do a very good job at cleaning up the fur from my raccoon-cat and miniature bear-dog, but Scott Frost didn’t really do a great job coaching either.
I would get delightful notifications updating me that “Scott Frost is out of battery” or “Scott Frost is stuck in the corner” or “Scott Frost has been disconnected from the internet.” “Scott Frost has been picked up. Please put him down.” Good shit.
The question: who is the king dipshit in the conference now? We’ve lost Scott Frost to deep-pocketed boosters and Harbaugh to California. Who should receive OTE’s official “Coaching Like a Robovac Stuck Under the Couch Award?”
—Alma Otter
BRT: First off, well-played on the naming convention here. Life is grim, it’s good to find joy in things like Scott Frost choking on a Frosted Mini Wheat or falling down the stairs.
I know it sounds like a typical Nebraskan hating on Iowa, but I think Kirk may really be the best answer here. No, he doesn’t suck the most (sounds like your vacuum didn’t either), but “Kirk Ferentz is stuck in the corner”? That checks out. PJ Fleck is also a solid choice, although he’d sooner die than admit that he was out of battery.
Jesse: I do really like “Kirk Ferentz has been disconnected from the internet”, but I think we’re missing out on some really good assistants, too.
“Chip Kelly has been picked up. Please put him down,” feels a bit on the nose, but could hit on two B1G teams now, which is really fun. Also, “Jedd Fisch is stuck in a corner” would be a really really good one. I’d also advocate for, “Coach Bielema is stuck” as a generally apropos one, but not just for coaching so much as him being Bielema.
Dead Read: Illinois’ Adonis, or anyone from Indiana.
tl;dr? there are a lot of options.
What are the ‘writers’ thoughts that since Nebraska last won a conference football title in 1999; Purdue (2000), Illinois (2001), Maryland (2001), and Rutgers (2012) have won or shared conference football titles?
—ziowa9
BRT: My thoughts are… disgruntled. What do you want me to say? It sucks. It makes me sad. I do believe we were robbed in ‘09, but it’s pretty cold comfort.
Jesse: On one hand, gross. However, Purdue’s was shared (no conference championship game), Maryland was in the ACC (not exactly a comfort), and uh… Rutgers won something like a seven-way tie in the remains of the Big East. Illinois did win outright I believe? Anyways, the point is, Nebraska was at a disadvantage somewhat in that they were in the Big XII which already had a CCG and they never managed to win that so it is what it is.
That said, it’s pretty dumb. There’s been pockets of success in there but yeesh, 1999. Who would’ve predicted that in 1999?
Dead Read: We’re due?
1. Which of the new four are you most excited for UNL to face at their house? (You can say why if you think it matters)
2. What non-red color do you most associate with Nebraska?
3. How is No Coast going to fare in 2024?
4. What is the platonic ideal Runza/beerOrSpirit pairing for the uninitiated?
—MiddleWestAverage
BRT:
Jesse:
Dead Read:
I actually would like to hear your ideas for new Runza flavors.
—waw
BRT: Full confession, I actually love Runza’s burgers more than the Runzas. I don’t dislike Runzas, it’s just not what I typically order. Seasonally, they have a French Dip Burger that doesn’t make you feel very proud of yourself for eating it, but it is really freaking delicious.
In addition to the original Runza (seasoned ground beef, onions, and cabbage), there is a fairly extensive menu of variations, currently including: Cheese Runza, Swiss Mushroom Runza, Spicy Jack Runza, Southwest Runza, Cheeseburger Runza (yes, different than the Cheese Runza), and the BBQ Bacon Runza. They’re very proud of that last one, because here’s the copy on the website:
“We realize it’s not even fair to make the Runza® sandwich this much better. Who do we think we are, adding crispy bacon, Swiss cheese and BBQ sauce to a sandwich that’s already completely irresistible? The nerve of some people.”
Settle down, Runza. Also, for those who asked, there is indeed (or was) a seasonal Reuben-style Runza.
I wouldn’t say I’m a great culinary innovator, but it seems like there are some flavors from Asian cuisines that deserve a look here. Ooo, or maybe a Gyro Runza?
Jesse: My wife and I actually discuss this regularly. Like, BRT has explained the official ones, but can you imagine a baller Korean one? Like, Bulgogi with some sort of killer sauce and kimchi in there? Maybe some sort of spicy mayo inside instead of cheese?
Or, maybe we go Italian Runza and put in some meatballs, mozzarella, and marinara.
An upscale could be pretty great as well, where we do some french onion style onions and mushroom mix, Gruyere cheese, and some sort of really fancy filet (sort of like a beef wellington). I dunno… I’ve thought about all of this for a long time, and I now might go try to bring this to life.
Dead Read: The Italian Runza does exist, and it is offered during limited periods throughout the year. I know this because a childhood friend photographs his haul every time he buys some for his freezer and posts it on Facebook. He swears by them, but I’ve never tried it (I don’t like cheese, I KNOW, but it is a whole thing).
Is Red Lobster declaring bankruptcy on the first day of Nebraska week a bad omen for the season?
—IUinVA
BRT: I don’t think so, we don’t really have much to do with lobsters here.
Jesse: Let me see how I can make this a thing… Similar to Red Lobster making a bad business decision due to power struggles in ownership and leadership (lol endless shrimp being the end of Red Lobster), Nebraska’s demise came due to administration and coaching not seeing eye-to-eye and a range of bad decisions moved forward. Also we’re both known as something vaguely red…
Oh, and the only places Red Lobster are, have no coasts or options for better seafood… Yeah, sure, I’ll buy it, except I think it’s a good omen because maybe we need one of these things to fail so we can succeed? I dunno. I’m tired.
Dead Read: The Lincoln Red Lobster shut down years ago, so it is no change from the status quo. Mentioning the franchise does bring back wistful memories of past Plentiful Platters, though.
What’s your favorite thing about Nebraska (the state) that’s not in Lincoln?
—nothsa
BRT: While I do like Lincoln and have lived there for various stints throughout my adult life, I was born and currently reside in Greater Nebraska, and that’s my answer: The rest of the state. The Sandhills are gorgeous and largely unknown (outside the state, and even within the state, because one thing about Omaha people is that they are absolutely never leaving Omaha for any reason) – you can read this piece I wrote about “the rest of the state” for Nebraska Week in 2017 here. The sky is vast and beautiful – when I lived in upstate NY, I hated never being able to see the horizon, or storms rolling in. Bundling up and sitting by the Platte River in March during sunset (or sunrise, I hear, though lol no) to watch the Sandhill Cranes migrate is an ecological marvel and profound experience. It’s affordable – I bought my very cute and move-in-ready house for $130k in 2018. That affordability shows up in other ways too – my town of 25,000 has a busy downtown full of local businesses, many of them owned by people in their 30s and 40s. And while “red states” and rural areas tend to get a bad rap (and I get it, I am not a fan of our state’s current political persuasions), I’ve found that the situation on the ground typically has far more nuance than that – since I’ve lived in this town, I’ve met so many interesting, smart, great folks who are active and engaged in their communities in ways that it’s much harder to be in more populated areas, working to make small but meaningful changes.
Jesse: I haven’t lived in Nebraska for 8 years now and I admit that there are SO many things I miss. While I’ll extend this question to “not in Lincoln or Omaha”, I think the thing I miss most is just the wide open spaces once you get out of the cities, and the beautiful sunsets. They’re definitely something I don’t quite get in the same way as I do here in Texas, and I think people don’t know what they have until it is very much gone.
I also miss the trees! There were so many different kinds. I didn’t know that it was such a diverse landscape all things considered.
Dead Read: The most striking thing about Nebraska, for me, is the Sandhills. It is a marvelous landscape that covers the north central portion of the state. It has a rugged beauty that touches on the divine. It also gives me the sensation of moving back in time. In a lot of places, the vibe is very mid-century. Check it out. The people of the state are also intelligent and good looking.
What is the typical weather in early October in Lincoln?
—WestCoastRU
BRT: Gorgeous. Like anywhere in the Midwest, literally any weather can happen at any time, but in general, mid-September all the way through October is fan-freaking-tastic in Nebraska. If your team is playing the Huskers during that time, consider a visit. High temps will likely be in the 60s, maybe 70s, cooling to pleasantly crisp upper 40s or 50s at night, and it’s usually a sunny month. Fall is the best. 🙂
Jesse: Just to echo BRT again, October is pretty great in Nebraska, although I think October is great most places. I do kinda miss a crisp evening in Nebraska (but I still hate Winter and cold with every part of my being).
Dead Read: They pretty much covered it. The feeling on a crisp fall morning is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of a Nebraska sense of place.
I plan to visit South Dakota in late summer from Pennsylvania and am looking at driving through part(s) of Nebraska as I travel from Sioux Falls to the Black Hills Region and back. Are there any attractions worth stopping at along the way?
Also, what local beers do I need to try?
Restaurant/food recommendations are appreciated as well.
—GrampaSimpson
BRT: Props to you for getting off of the interstate and exploring! There are some really pretty places in northern Nebraska. I’d head west from Sioux Falls and stop by the Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD before heading down. It is somewhat less impressive than you think it should be, but it’s definitely one of those iconic “Roadside America” sorts of things. The murals on the outside (made of corn, duh) are different every year, and the displays inside show the history of the Corn Palace’s changing annual designs.
At some point west of that, drop south into Nebraska – maybe Hwy 183 down to Springview. Then, head west on Hwy 12. Make sure you have gas when you get off the interstate, as you’ll be going through some very small towns that are very far apart. In between Sparks and Valentine, you’re in prime tubing area for the Niobrara River. If your schedule allows, this is a very pleasant way to spend a day – tubing on inner tubes, canoeing if you’re less lazy, or even tanking (hang out in a stock tank – you know, what they use to water cattle.) Even if you can’t devote a whole day to it, checking out Smith Falls is a great idea. Yes, there are more dazzling waterfalls in the US, but this one is very nice and extremely accessible.
You’ll then want to stop in the town of Valentine (maybe this is your overnight spot?) It leans hard into two things: 1) being a cattle town, and 2) that very unusual name – there are hearts everywhere! It’s the county seat of Cherry County, which is larger than the state of Connecticut. You can walk down a decommissioned railroad track that has been turned into a very nice hiking and biking trail (don’t miss the stunning trestle bridge that’s 150 feet above the river). It’s worth a drive though the Fort Niobrara Wildlife Refuge, most famous for its large bison herd. Get a steak at Peppermill and a beer at Bolo Brewing.
At this point, you could head back north through SoDak, but I’d personally keep heading west on Hwy 20, a scenic byway. It’s gorgeous, though remote in a way that can make people from more populated areas of the country feel a little uncomfortable – forces you to confront your own insignificance in the universe and all of that. People are generally very friendly though, and will often be impressed that you are visiting from so far away! They want you to like what you see, and will probably be extra friendly to you as a result.
Hwy 20 will land you in Chadron, where you have a few more options of things to check out. Fort Robinson is a really interesting historical site, particularly in terms of the Lakota resistance (it’s where Crazy Horse was killed) and western fort life. The topography of the area is really different than what people expect in Nebraska and is sort of a transition to what you’ll see in the Black Hills. Toadstool Park is a bizarre martian landscape also in this area. Finally, and most importantly, before you head north, stop at Staab’s Drive Inn in Crawford for the beau ideal of a drive-in (get food AND a classic ice cream treat.)
Have a great trip!
(Phew. I am actually great at planning itineraries, including international ones. Hit me up if you want help with a trip, I accept Venmo.) 😉
Jesse: Haven’t lived there in a long time, but a food recommendation because it blew me away when I went back. Semo in Fremont (FREMONT OF ALL PLACES FOLKS!). House made everything, great service, pasta from scratch, bread from scratch, etc. Just a delightful restaurant in a place you wouldn’t expect. I’m lucky to be in Austin and have access to so many wonderful places to eat and I’m pretty critical of most places in Nebraska, but Semo really struck the right chord with me. Note, this is nowhere NEAR somewhere you dip into from SoDak. Just a good place for me to throw something out there.
Dead Read: Hit Valentine and the surrounding area. Highway 20 is an enjoyable drive across the northern portion of the state.
What’s in your summer pleasure reading queue?
I’m currently reading, and very much enjoying, “A Gentleman in Moscow” by Amor Towles.
—HoustonBoiler
BRT: I am unashamed to admit that I love a good contemporary romance, so quite a few are in my queue – there’s just nothing better for summer than being poolside with an Emily Henry. I’ll also be revisiting Sense and Sensibility with a colleague – we buddy read Pride and Prejudice this spring and he loved it, so we’re doing S&S next. I also have a goal of getting through a hefty tome on my shelf – I’m debating between East of Eden and Lonesome Dove. I’ll take recommendations on which in the comments!
Jesse: I don’t really find myself reading really fun stuff lately. Mostly things that make me think too hard, which is cool in theory, but also really dry (ironically, I read “Writing for busy readers” which I ignored completely this week). I am currently plodding through Rick Rubin’s, “The Creative Act: A Way of Being” which is definitely something, and I picked up “Beartown” by Fredrik Backman which I just started reading. I have weird reading habits.
Dead Read: I am reading Shakespeare’s histories. I might finally be getting to the point where I can recognize the propaganda. Or, maybe not.
******
Got your own Runza ideas? Drop them in the comments!
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