ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN – NOVEMBER 25: Head coach Ryan Day of the Ohio State Buckeyes argues a review of a touchdown against the Michigan Wolverines during the second quarter in the game at Michigan Stadium on November 25, 2023 in Ann Arbor, Michigan. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)Getty Images
COLUMBUS, Ohio — I’d like to know where Chargers coach Jim Harbaugh will be next Saturday. Seriously, anybody seen the former Michigan coach? Because Ohio State football wants to teach him a lesson, but Harbaugh has already graduated to the NFL. Former Michigan quarterback J.J. McCarthy, former running back Blake Corum, and many other recent Michigan faces have, too.
So as OSU plots a three-hour lecture concerning who owns this rivalry next week, I’m wondering: Can you exact revenge on a ghost?
Sure, Michigan coach Sherrone Moore won last year’s matchup as interim coach. And yes, Buckeye villains like Donovan Edwards, Colston Loveland, and Mason Graham will take the field next weekend. But these are not the Wolverines who won three straight games against Ohio State. Moore is not the coach who rubbed so many Buckeyes wrong over the last decade. And I don’t think winning this game will feel as good as Buckeye fans think (or want), no matter how wide the margin of victory.
Pick your number: 20 points? 30? 40? Nothing would surprise me if the Buckeyes decide to run up the score on UM next week. But nothing would change about the last three seasons, either. Ohio State missed its chance to reset the record on the Connor Stallions scandal last season. Bullying its rival in a transition year means … what, exactly?
Let’s try talking trash: Hold this “L,” Michigan quarterback Davis Warren. You’re going to rue the day you … never took a snap against Ohio State the last three seasons. Ha! Owned.
Get embarrassed, running back Kalel Mullings. OSU didn’t forget the 15-yard pass (to go with one carry) you completed at Ohio Stadium two years ago. And it hopes you’ll remember this one loss just as long as last year’s national championship run (unlikely).
And don’t think you’ve escaped this verbal woodchipper, cornerback Will Johnson. After all the angst you’ve caused Buckeyes fans, I hope this loss makes you feel — oh, right. Johnson was ruled out for next Saturday’s matchup a week early. Assuming he enters the NFL Draft next spring, he will do so with an unblemished record against Ohio State.
Tough.
Look, I know every win over Michigan counts extra. I believe Ohio State seniors Jack Sawyer and Emeka Egbuka, neither of whom have ever worn the program’s traditional gold pants after beating UM, when they say winning next Saturday motivated them to return for a their fourth years. And I’m sure Buckeye fans would feel some catharsis watching Sawyer and Egbuka earn their retribution.
But my question remains: Over whom? The former players and coaches who left after last year’s perfect season? The returners who have already celebrated enough wins over Ohio State to sustain a career? Or the first-timers who have no rivalry track record for which to atone?
None fit the silhouettes fueling Ohio State’s revenge tour. Those ghosts are long gone. But the scars they left in on these Buckeyes have still not healed. When OSU plays Moore, Mullings and Warren next week, it will think of Harbaugh, Corum and McCarthy. But no matter how many points it scores against the new, mediocre Michigan — 40, 50, 100 — they will not count against the old one.
So by all means, beat Michigan. Blow the Wolverines out. Throw as many passes as you think it will take to exorcise the demons haunting this side of the rivalry. But don’t expect them to fill the void left by three Maize and Blue Big Ten Titles.
Because I don’t know where Harbaugh will be next Saturday. And I don’t think Ohio State can teach its lesson to ghosts.
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